Enmity amongst siblings; Real siblings or blood neighbours?

It's Val again, a time when lovers the world over somewhat rekindle the love they share.

 These are complete strangers, who came about each other at a certain phase of their lives and chose to pledge allegiance to making themselves happy.

It's a beautiful thing to see lovers who strive to make their relationship better, but how often do they aim at having a cordial relationship with their blood relations, siblings especially.

Val's day should not all just be about the celebration of love, I have decided to use the opportunity of the day to lay emphasis on the need to love our siblings.

Evidently, one is not given the luxury of choosing one's brother or sister. You just grew up to find another 'human' usually with contrasting traits, being referred to as your sibling(s).

Siblings are offsprings from the same parent. This makes them blood relations. While neighbours simply 'live' next to one another and may not necessarily 'be related'.

Blood neighbours are those who though are siblings, but act as neighbours. It doesn't matter if they do not live together.
As the only child of my parents,growing up, life was so lonely that I wanted a sibling so badly. I missed not having someone who will accompany me to fight the neighbourhood kids, no prank mate, gist partner, playmate, and in fact such silly happenings as not having someone to share 'yards' of Christmas clothes with makes me sad.

And while I spent my growing years longing for a sibling, it baffles me the level of enmity that exists between offsprings of the same parent. Brothers fighting dirty, not being in talking terms for long periods over issues that could be settled amicably. It's so intense in some families that this hatred is passed on to the next generation, and don't be surprised that in another decade, the relation called cousins, nephews and nieces would become a thing of the past.

Then I begin to wonder, these were folks born of the same womb, suckled on the same breast,grew up under the same tutelage and parental upbringing, been through thick and thin,only to chose to grow apart and totally disagree, spitting fire over one another's eyes over life issues.


However, about the siblings that I love is that of a colleague, who literary did everything after his elder brother. From the choice of his hair cut, to his fashion sense and even taste in women (that's extreme though), and despite being an adult of marriageable age, he adores his elder brother so much that you would no doubt be envious of the level of closeness they enjoyed.
And if you think these duo were the closest, then you have not met them when among their other siblings. They would catch up on old times, (most of them are married), deliberate tete a tete about fending for their parents, share their life goals,and when they argue,its usually on top of their voices,  but they tend to have so much control over their disagreements that they end up arriving at a truce.

These are real siblings.


But to those I consider blood neighbors, they can never maintain a business partnership without calling for each other's throat. Inheritances are no longer shared in peace, lest it is trashed in a court of law, siblings are no longer in the 'know' about happenings in the lives of their brothers/sister's and we wonder why there seems to be so much hatred in the world, when blood relations are finding being in good accordance a big deal.

Many times, I am tempted to want to fault the upbringing of such siblings, the mothers being at fault especially.

Enmity starts from when a parent decides to favor one child against the other. It becomes a major seed that germinates the tree of hatred much later in their lives.

Mothers, being the closest parent figure to the children are expected to make them realize the fact that sibling-love should not be compromised.

I once came across a video on the internet of an American woman, who had to make her two kids share a shirt for long hours as punishment for their incessant quarrels. Her voice was heard at the background cautioning them not to ever fight dirty, or use hateful words against one another in the future. Now those are real siblings in the making.

 Finally, since this year's val is a Wednesday, I'm preaching love among siblings, my sibling crush wednesday, SCW
(whatever that means) however goes to this French celebrity sibling, Arbia Kidadi and Mounir Kidadi. I recently added them on Instagram, and their videos are a reflection of the best kind of relation that is expected of people born of the same parents.  They mime, play pranks on each other (despite being opposite sexes) and my love for their display of sibling love was the reason why i never bothered not understanding a word, from their page which is usually written in French.


However, I besiege you to extend the love this valentine, and settle the scores with your siblings. Dig this,if you cannot learn to live in absolute peace with your own blood sister/brother, I wonder how you want to be at peace with every individual you meet in life.

There's a reason God had allowed you to have shared the same womb or be formed from the same cell. Truth is, there are some of us out there, who deeply missed not having a sibling.

So to all of us out there;



Happy valentines day