My first shot at love

This write up is purely an excerpt from the experiences I had when life felt it was time I learnt the lessons that would guide me through it.

I discovered quite early in life that money is the root of all evil. I learnt that the only person who has your best interest at heart can only be you. And finally, the school of life tutored me that when life throws an arrow at you, it wants you to run into greatness. That of course, is if you are willing to look beyond your current predicament. 

Have you ever been stabbed in the back right from the front? Well, I choose to say "right from the front" because it was all there for me to see, I was just not looking. 

They call me double chief and this is my story.

I was born into a wealthy polygamous family through a dad so wealthy that our residence is a sight to behold and such that a friend who had recently moved to our area once told me, " whoever has this property must be a robber". I smiled and said "well, this your robber is actually my dad " I am sure deep inside of him, he fainted. Let us not digress from our story.

The kind of upbringing I had, no doubt filled with affluence but restricted in such a way that our only play mates were those within the four walls of our apartment. But whenever my parents were out, we extended it to the four walls of our compound and whenever the opportunity to extend our play ground beyond our apartment presented itself, I could not help but steal glances at our beautiful neighbors whom I obviously do not get to see all of the time.

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you ever see boys strolling in and out of our compound, 98% of the times, these girls were the "hosts".

Like most of these boys, I also had my eyes on one of these damsels. The sad part was, I bet she never even noticed me. Typical of most boys my age, I was always quick to pick quarrel with her every now and then, simply because I could not express to her what and how I felt about her. Plus, I also had a friend living in the same compound who also had his eyes on this same girl.

If you are a fan of Nollywood, you would have seen scenes where someone is so into another who does not even notice them, then there is this other someone who throws advances at you when you are not even looking.

In my case, I was not blind. I knew. And like some people would say " if the desired is not available, the available becomes the desired ". Are you lost? You guessed right. While the one troubling my heart ( did I say heart? I meant eyes ) was not looking in my direction, I was quick to notice someone who was giving me all the attention.

This my " eye catcher " had a cousin who was equally good looking and in no time, like I once switched from airtel to glo, I made the switch. It was not a difficult decision because no one asked me to fill out forms or asked for an ID.

She was my first kiss. My first touch at the opposite sex. My first experience at that tingling feeling you experience when you claim to be love.

For a few years, things went on smoothly. By smoothly, I mean we were so into each other that we never had cause to dispute over any issue. She still entertained visits from other boys. But what did I know? I neither cared nor got bothered. Afterall, I was getting all the " main guy " attention.

Did I ever mention I was still in high school when all these were happening? Well, we were. She was schooling out of state and she would send letters ( It was not the era of nimbuzz or 2go) through her cousin to me and I reciprocated whenever I could. Even though we were able to exchange letters, I always looked forward to school breaks as they meant Christmas to me. Whenever school was on break, she was the highlight of my holidays. My mum soon got used to her chary visits. Mum was always quick to call out on me whenever she was sighted at our door step. To mum, she was like every other that came asking after me, little did she know that she was more.

The kind of upbringing I had, I dare not discuss my escapades with my elder ones. But I somehow had my way with my elder brother’s friends. So there was this particular friend of my brother we considered blood and I so much looked up to him. He was my confidant and my pillar of advice. Because I was much younger, he was my quick fix to matters of the heart.

It was our final year in high school. She had been acting bizarre lately and I had constantly inquired what the issue was with her. I always got the same response “everything is fine “.

Everything was going our way (at least that was I thought), until one afternoon. Like a bird shot out of the sky, my love ship sank. I may not really have cared because I was young (what did I know?), but I never took us for granted. It may not have meant everything to me, but it meant so much to me.

This afternoon, NEPA had disconnected power as usual. I was outside our apartment enjoying the somewhat cool breeze. And then my girl showed face. She was actually the reason I sat outside though. Like every other day, I was filled with excitement. In our every moment I,  I had always forgotten my purpose in life (so I thought) because the time spent with her meant everything and I always craved it.

BOOM!!! “We need a break"! Remember that sound that covered Lagos mainland when the Lagos cantonment explosion happened? That was the way her words sounded when they came out of her mouth in slow motion. As slow as the words travelled, the weight was enormous that it in the moment, I felt naked and empty. Then I murmured some words and I know she heard. “Have I ever put you under pressure,  or asked you for anything which you needed a break from? “. She just wanted to be alone.

I swallowed that. When I had it digested, I knew it was the end and then I asked “will you do me the honor of putting a name to the mystery figure I have conjured in my mind”. She stood up, planted a goodbye kiss on my lips and then walked away.

In a sober mood, I could not catch sleep. I then decided to take a stroll. My state of mind would not let anyone hear my footsteps. I got to the last landing (picture trying to steal meat from a pot in total darkness, and then NEPA brings the light and your mum was standing right next to you).  They were both in each other’s arms (my ex and Mr X) having a good time. They saw me, she was going to explain, but I walked away.

Remember my brother’s friend I was so into? Well, yes. He was the one. The same brother I had always expressed my life challenges to and always counted on his advices. The same brother I had sought out on various occasions, most importantly, when I had started to notice changes in my girl. He had told me to be patient that all would be fine. When all along, he was pressuring my girl to end the relationship we had. Up until she broke up with me, I was still in contact with Mr X trying to see if he could step in to fix things with my girl.

The next day, she was going to be Akon. Asking me to “put the blame on her, she narrated how Mr X meant well and how he was more like a brother to me. I called out my elder brothers names and told her my brothers would never do such.

They went ahead to get married. I moved on, had a couple of heart breaks and then my story changed as I eventually found love.  

Written by : Idris Ola (A friend to titipetral)