Sexual abuse; Lack of V.O.I.C.E to the victims

Here goes the topic I least imagined coming to ponder on for too long, let alone birthing an article from. Not because I am out rightly insensitive to the plight of those that are/were sexually abused, but because I am like most inhabitants of the world, who do little or nothing than form a pity party with abused persons.
        What actually jolted me was born out of the chat I recently had with an American, Megan Manigault, the initiator of I am VOICES (Vibrant Open-hearted Innocent Confident Empowered).
        Now I’m sure I just succeeded in making you take another glance up at the caption.
        By the way, I am VOICE is a Non-Governmental Organization that not only aim at raising awareness that people are actually being abused sexually around us though we might be totally oblivious of that, she also wants to uplift and empower people in other to heal and use their own voice to change their world.
     Victims had transited into resentful adults as a result of not being properly rehabilitated but left to remain emotionally damaged.
    Quoting from one of the definitions I got from Google, “Sexual abuse, (also referred to as molestation) is the undesired sexual behavior by one person (usually the elderly) upon another (and who in most cases are the minor)
But if the abuse is carried out by a blood related family member, it becomes incest.
     This is more damaging as it results in serious and long term psychological trauma on the victims.
       Aftermath effect also includes shame, self blame, reduced self esteem, and a whole lots more.
     So just because a predator couldn't come to curb his or her sexual urge, a highly spirited kid oblivious of the dangers of the world is chosen and molested sexually. Hence made to 'do' things specifically created for adults, and I’m like -"seriously?".
     Quite saddening a lot of these kids never get to speak out. No thanks to the fact that these scums always come in form of fatherly or motherly figures, uncles/aunts, teachers, grown up neighbors or in most cases 'supposed' benefactors. Hence under the guise of rendering assistance which could often times come in form of cash or shelter, victims suffer in silence and when they seek help, the offender is either not punished, (owing to the relationship they seem to have with the victim) or just because we probably want to crave anonymity for the abused. The sexual assault thus, isn’t brought to limelight. So as sadly as it sounds, these pedophiles keep doing it to kids from the same lineage over and over again.
 However, my grand hats-off to some celebrities (both locally and internationally), who chose to speak out on their being sexually abused whilst growing up and I honestly applaud their courage.
     Nollywood actress, Foluke Daramola, admitted to have been deflowered as a teenager by a rapist who was a tenant in her father’s house. Benson okonkwo, also an actor from Nigeria, was molested by a 35year old aunt (now that’s incest)
     Lola Omotayo Okoye (wife to a Nigerian Musical Star), recounted that she was molested by a Priest in High School (one who was supposed to be a mentor). And the experience made her so rebellious afterwards that she craved to be expelled from school to avoid seeing this man.
Singer Niyola was also molested as a kid but maintained she wasn’t defiled. Not left out of the horrible surge was Ice Prince; molested by an aunt at thirteen, and then our very own area father, Charly boy. His story beamed light on the aftermath effects of being sexually abused. He said his nasty experience resulted into his sexual recklessness with the opposite sex. He always wanted to experiment the more. So bad was it that he actually fathered a child as a teenager and had children from different women until he finally met his soul mate in lady Dianna. Needless to say, he was able to talk about this when he knew he had gotten the needed rehabilitation.
Now to those of you who presume this is only restricted to this part of the world, on the international scenery, popular TV Director Tyler Perry was raped by the mother of a childhood friend who held him hostage until he had sex with him.
Oprah Winfrey was raped at nine by a relative.
Mike Tyson was molested at seven.
Queen Latifah, simply abused by a baby sitter as a child.
Fiona Apple at twelve.
Vanessa Williams at ten, and then my favorite actress from desperate housewives Teri Hatcher, raped by an uncle at five (my heart bleeds at this!
I have a six year old female and I wonder what could actually interest a sane man to have wanted to lay an infant that young!
The succor I needed came as I read on that in 2002, she was able to testify against him and he was sentenced to fourteen years in prison and in as much as I would have wanted the number of years quadrupled, but then, it’s okay.
Others are Missy Elliot, Mary J Blige, Joyce Meyer and lastly on my list is Actress America Ferrera, who suffered from incest, and she did posted on her Instagram page just recently and I quote;
" First time I can remember being sexually assaulted I was nine years old. I told no one and lived with the guilt and shame thinking all along that I, a nine year old child was somehow responsible for the actions of a grown up man, I had to see this man on a daily basis for years to come. He would smile at me and wave, I would hurry past him, my blood running cold, my guts carrying the burden of what only he and I knew, that he expected me to shut my mouth and smile back'
Can you imagine?. And just few days ago, one Cyntoia Brown a twenty nine year old woman jailed for life since 2004 came into limelight. Her story? She had been sexually abused and subsequently trafficked by a pimp named Kutthroat who later sold her to a Nashville realtor Johnny Allen.
She feared Allen might kill her so she grabbed a gun and shot him dead. As bad as that may seem, can anyone sense self defense and emotional disorder from a sexually molested teenager like I am?
Having spent thirteen years in jail, top celebrities like Kim kardashian and Rihanna had however risen up to help Brown with getting sound attorney and probably a legal re-think.
Parents and guardians should please note these vital points as prevention is actually better than cure.
~Awareness of the existence of sexual abuse is key.
~Let all kids know that they can always confide in us.
~Never be too busy to discuss issues with your kids.
~Be careful who you give custody of your kids to.
~Listen to changes in body languages of your children as a newly-molested kid will no doubt show traces of emotional recluse.
~Teach infants to speak up anytime they are being touched unduly in their private organs as well.
And to all molested adults out there, *speak up*!!!
No sane human will look down on you or stigmatize you for what was not your fault.
There is no justification for  rapist!
Pedophiles too, would keep growing in number if victims don't get to speak out and if they keep going unpunished.
Conclusively, what worries me now is not totally those that had been abused (because with total love and care from the populace, onward rehabilitation and et al, they would be fine, citing the cases of the aforementioned celebrities who though once abused later became role models eventually).
But my concern is those that are presently being abused!
To those that are of age, we could jointly seek redress. But to the minors who are dying in silence, harboring the pains and seeming guilt in their innocent minds, my heart bleeds and goes all out to them.
How about we all show some concern by being attentive to strange body languages in neighborhood kids too.
If you know of any, I have avenues to direct them to.
My findings came up with Mirabel center in Lagos Nigeria where abused victims are rehabilitated and catered for. Reach Mirabel center representative on +234 701 349 1769. (Calls and information are treated with utmost confidentiality)
You can as well share your story with Megan Manigault by reaching out via mail: Megan.manigault@iamvoices.org.
website iswww.iamvoices.org.
Mine is titipetral482@gmail.com.
VOICE it out now.
And above all, we need stiffer punishments from our legislators the world over for sexual assault offenders.
You and I can be heard when we V.O.I.C.E it!